so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
