This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize