TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
