So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
