its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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