The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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