If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.