You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no