I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?