god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first