We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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