Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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