it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
