i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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