why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
