Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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