i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i will never coherently bang her
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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