I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Still dying that you shit outside
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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