is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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