your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
