This is not my ceiling
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
