oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
