its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
