just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
