if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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