Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
