He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
