Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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