come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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