their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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