If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
