I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
