eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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