No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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