I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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