Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
