Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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