Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
