I must be too annoying 4 u.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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