I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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