Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
