she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Farmville is her only friend.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
