too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize