are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Soap is not a condiment
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
