Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
how can u be prego again
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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