Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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