it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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