How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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