dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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