normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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