Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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