I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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