all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
