I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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