Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
