It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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