You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
