I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
