It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize