You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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