He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
this is an emotional support booty call
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
