My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
