I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
