That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
