I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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