singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
