Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
