hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
