Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
