never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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