You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
